The holiday season in the corporate world often means generic holiday cards that conform to the “Holiday Sensitivity Policy” decorations that offend no one, and yet offend everyone by existing. This year as in previous years my cards are silver and blue with snowflakes. Funny enough I received my first “Holiday card” from Syria. From the doorman at the Sheraton Damascus, it has a happy Virgin Mary an Child on it. He is a Muslim and lives in a Muslim (Though very open) country. For twenty years he has always sent a Christmas card. In those twenty tears I send a card with something American; Cowboys, Deer or Elk in the Snow…he likes cowboys, he wanted to be one.
I once sent him a generic holiday card, snowflake or snowmen or something like that. He wrote back that he was happy to receive the card but could I send him something American? I sent him a packet of postcards from my trip to Wyoming , a small totem pole from the NW and a Touristy Native American bracelet I purchased at a reservation. Some months later it arrived and some weeks later I received a letter about how he was so overjoyed to have something “American”. Do you have any idea how small I felt at that point? Now the kids that he didn’t have when I was living in Damascus are in college. Do you know how old that makes me feel? Well this isn’t about me, or maybe it is?
Anyway tis’ the holiday season, Lo Saturnalia!
The holiday season also brings up gifts and the end of the year, however for millennia the end or beginning of the year was in many cultures (including the western philosophy) spring. March being the beginning and end of the year. It makes sense, the plants start growing the animals start f@#$%ng and life begins anew.
The bizarre aspect of this is that we neglected to change the names of four months even when their names became obsolete. I was born in September, my father was born in December. September is the seventh month, and those that follow; October, November, December, mean just that. The seventh, eighth, ninth and tenth month.
Gifts however seem to be at the core of our current holiday. With the current climate gifts are looked at with apprehension in the corporate world, as if each might be a gateway to a congressional hearing.
Gifts are often still sent and received, though returned with a note that states: “Massive Legalese, yadda, yadda….meh…yadda…small print legalese…yadda…”
Thus this morning in my office: We receved a pen, or rather two pens.
Yes two pens. Tis’ the season to get embalmed! Urrr wait? Embalmed?
We cannot and do not accept gifts from any vendor whatsoever. So we were putting it back in its box to go back to the vendor with a happy note stating: “Nice of you to think of us, however as a blah blah…cannot accept…blah…”
Standard procedure in many companies.
To get the full experience I have to take you back to the point where we opened the box. Upon opening it contained a generic holiday card and a couple of pens, though at first I was unsure as to what they were (I have received some weird sh!t in my personal life from companies that had nothing to do with work, last year I got a Carrot shaped chew toy from my investment broker…okay moving on…).
I looked at the objects in their clear plastic and said “Holy s#!t, is that a cunnula? “ Yes yes it was, two pens cast in the shape of cannulae with the company’s name emblazoned on the side.
One of my coworkers stated the obvious: “Well they do supply all of our embalming fluid…and we do go through a lot. All right back in the box back to sender, some one type a nice note about the gift policy.“
Was it tasteless?
I am not sure. It is their industry, they should be proud of the services they provide. I think that perhaps cannula shaped pens are not the best promotional tool.
This is just a guide to escabeche, it can be made with almost any ingredients. Instead of shrimp try cooked cubed chicken, tuna, fried fish, tofu or tempeh. Best if it is made the night before, but can be made on a lazy day watching TV, as I did the day after Thanks-taking, and eaten within twenty minutes.
Ingredients:
1 Cup of cooked salad shrimp, cooked fish, chicken tofu or tempeh (Actually good and I hate tempeh)
2 Tablespoons of lime juice or lemon juice
1 Small onion chopped fine
1 Stalk of celery chopped
1 Red or green bell pepper chopped
2 Roma tomatoes chopped
¼ Cup of chopped cilantro or flat leaf parsley
2-5 Cloves of garlic chopped or more to keep the vampyres away
½ Teaspoon of chili powder
½ Teaspoon of pepper
¼ Teaspoon of paprika
1 Bay leaf
How you do this?
Mix all up together in a non metallic bowl and refrigerate for an hour or overnight. Serve as a dip with tortilla chips, or as an appetizer in a martini or cocktail glass.
*Note this was pictured at a friends house, so a shout out to her for letting me f@#k up her kitchen for this one shot. Hey babe I love you! But you know that.
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