Grilled Orange Pork with Katsu

There seem to be many more homeless people on the streets here in Portland these days. This could be a sign of the times, then again it may not. Portland has always had a rather high proportion of homeless people. Possibly because the weather is fairly temperate year round (Other than the rain), possibly because people used to be a little more generous here? Maybe, though I know that as soon as the homeless population increased there seemed to be a decrease in the amount of people I saw giving change or even acknowledging the existence of said homeless persons.

Now here is a little disclaimer: I understand the plight of the homeless, I myself have even slept on the street (young and stupid and too proud to call my parents). It’s not nice, it is not fun and once I actually had to cut my socks off.

However, I get asked for change several dozen times a day. Even if I wanted to give change to every person it would bankrupt me. So I must be selective, as to who I am going to give my hard earned dollars to. There are a multitude of different types of “Spangers”, from the English words “Spare” and “Change” I am going to try and give unbiased descriptions of some of the most common types of “Spangers” over the next few posts, or until someone complains to the ACLU.

The Long Distance Spangers: Usually comfortably seated in a malodorous group of three or more on some sort of platform or bench, the brickwork outside Carl’s Jr, or the Central Library’s decorative wall for example. These people will call out as you pass “Hey, spare any change?” and if you just shake your head, or say “Sorry, no” as soon as your back is to them you will hear “Whatever dude.” Or “Right!” or “@$$h@le”. If you get booboo’s on your feelings easily cross the other side of the street! Though Long Distance Spangers are known to yell at people for change from across the street, or even from two blocks down, in which case pretend to be hearing impaired.

The Lurkers: Hidden from view in a recessed doorway, or less often behind a potted conifer. The lurker will usually appear in your personal space as if from nowhere. Note the bloodshot crazed eyes, and the long greasy hair that hangs down in front of the face. If male they usually have some sort of beard that resembles nothing so much a gooseberry bush, with broght green gooseberries! I don't think they are gooseberries though. Fetid pants will usually be held up with a piece of broken electrical cord or rope. For festive occasions sometime a heavily soiled stinking silk tie will fill in as a belt. These spangers are a little harder to avoid as they approach your circle of ‘fluence. A quick pat of one’s pockets and a look of sorrow with “I’m sorry I don’t believe I have any change.” Will usually make them retreat to their cubby hole before all your olfactory functions completely shut down in protest. Possibly not without them sniffing at you a few times, it’s called soap, sooo-aaaap, it’s used with water, wah-ter, do you know what water is? With the lurker it is vitally important to maintain eye contact at all times, especially when checking one’s pockets. Like horses they are easily spooked and can kick a hole in the stable door or soil themselves if nervous.

The Entertainers: Usually a younger upbeat Spanger of either sex or both or niether it's Oregon anything goes! Most usually found in groups of up to six with one member that is the actual front person or entertainer. They will regale you with flamboyant loud and promising proposals, much as the gentleman outside the freak show on the midway reveals the wonders that lay inside for only one dollar! Step right up: “I will beat box for change.”, “Tell you a really filthy joke for a buck”, “Will dance really badly for a dollar” or even “I will wrestle my own shadow.” There is nothing like a gentleman willing to punch out his own meth rotted teeth for your entertainment, better than pay per view I can tell you. Though most often talentless; a few seconds of Spanger merrymaking has more entertainment value than an entire season of American Idol. Make that the entire history of American Idol.

I will add a few more next post, unless someone complains again.

Ingredients for four pastel pink peeps or yellow peep or blue peeps, we don’t discriminate:

½ cup of orange juice

¼ cup of olive oil

2 tablespoons of soy sauce

1 tablespoon of minced ginger

Method:

Mix all together and marinate the pork for a couple of hours or overnight. If you don’t have time for this marinate for at least half an hour.

Cook the chops on a grill or in a large skillet till cooked through, brush with the marinade several times during cooking. Try to turn chops only once so that they get uber-cool grill marks (Yet again with the Uber, what is wrong with me?). For a really professional look, turn chops one quarter turn on the grill to give a cross hatched effect. As you can tell I neglected to do this.

For the Saucy Sauceness:

The sauce for the pork is loosely based on a Katsu sauce from Japan, usually served with a breaded cutlet of pork, chicken or tofu.

1 Cup of tomato ketchup

2 tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce

2 teaspoons of soy sauce

½ teaspoon of ground ginger

1 teaspoon of garlic powder

1 tablespoon of brown sugar

2 teaspoons of rice vinegar

Method:

Mix all together and chill till serving time, at least twenty minutes to let flavors develop.

Serve the pork chops with a dollop of sauce on top.

For the Roasted Chili Sweet Potato Wedges:

4 medium sweet potatoes

2-3 Tablespoons of olive oil

1 Tablespoon of chili powder or to taste

½ Teaspoon of salt

Cut the sweet potatoes into wedges and combine in a large plastic Ziploc bag with the remaining ingredients.

Toss till well coated, place on a lightly greased cookie sheet skin side down and bake for 30-45 minutes at 400 till slightly crispy on the outside and soft inside. (Taste one to be sure, these are sneaky little devils and you think that they are cooked all the way and they are actually a little firm in the center, devils I tell you! Demon spawn from the very bowels of Hollywood!).

For the Basil Corn:

Simply take two cups of frozen yellow corn, combine in a sauce pan with a teaspoon of dried basil or a tablespoon of fresh, and ½ cup of water.

Cook for 10 minutes until all the water has been evaporated. Add a little salt and pepper if needed.

For a wine, well a sauvignon blanc or Riesling would go well with the pork, however the barbecue like sauce lends this equally well to a pinot noir, try a couple of different wines, pork is very versatile just not Kosher, apologies to my Bube.