Bagel Chip Recipe

I don’t make these half as much as I used to. Bagels don’t last long enough to go stale in my house.

However back in the day, my Grandfather treated every trip to the grocery store as time to stock up for when the Pinko-Commie-Hippie-Liberal-Whale Hugging-Rainbow Warriors (Or whoever he was being xenophobic against that month) bombed us or created pure anarchy by singing songs and chaining themselves to trees.

Though he seemed to have solutions for the latter: “It’s just as easy to saw through a person as it is a tree, the do spatter a bit more but the saw dust soaks up most of the dribbly bits“, he would say chewing a tooth pick and cleaning the second rifle he bought that week.

Perhaps, he thought chaining yourself to a tree was just silly. He had previously worked at a logging camp in Oregon in the 1920’s. Later his Father was rolled on by a log at a logging camp and squashed flat, he spent the rest of his days as a player piano roll. Just kidding he was very dead. My great grandfather the meat pancake…

I suppose there could be worse ways to go, however I cannot think of many. Drowning in warm peanut butter for example, getting the Vulcan Death pinch from a Nun, (that is just embarrassing), or while trying to rescue an incontinent cat from the roof; slipping in some “cat juice” falling off the house, bouncing off the lid of the garbage can and landing in the middle of the street relatively unharmed, then promptly being mowed down by a public transportation vehicle driven by a meth crazed Jerry Weissmuller look alike in a polyester flannel shirt . I think that is about it. Well perhaps being torn apart by wild horses but that hardly ever happens outside of Connecticut these days.

The point of that was…random, just randomness. I think my point was originally that he used to buy bagels gross packs. Who can eat 144 bagels? Even at three a day per person it would have taken 12 days to consume. Absolutely impossible to eat before they went stale so here is my solution, bagely chipnesss.

Ingredients:

2-3 Bagels.

Olive oil (About a ¼ cup)

Salt

Your choice of Garlic powder/Basil/chili powder/hickory salt/taco seasoning (Yes taco seasoning) /tarragon whatever.

Method:

Slice the bagels into very thin rounds, place on a baking sheet and brush with oil, sprinkle with salt and one of the above suggested seasonings . Bake at 375 for 5 minutes and then turn the oven off. Leave them in the oven for 30 minutes to dry out. These package and travel well.

If you leave them plain they make great vehicles for canapes and cocktail bites.