Banana Tomato Cocktail and British Tirade

No, it’s not a drink, though it does sound like something that someone would come up with after one too many. (Have you ever had an AMF? Good Grief!).

This is the “Appetizer” type of cocktail, like a shrimp cocktail without the shrimp. This one supposedly comes to us via the Bahamas, and the addition to the recipe of Worcestershire sauce would seem to confirm some sort of British involvement, and everyone know just how fantastic British food is.
I may be a little insane; possibly odd, unfortunately I am not rich enough to be eccentric. I have a burning hatred of plain side dishes, and appetizers, I suppose bland food in general. Possibly this goes back to spending so much time in the British Isles where boiling everything to a thin yellowish gray paste has been perfected into a fine art.


For example: here are recipes for a full Sunday dinner; beef with potatoes, cauliflower and peas, with an optional pudding for dessert.

Method:
About 6hours before serving place beef lump in large sauce pan cover with water, turn heat on to high and cover, four hours before serving place vegetables in three saucepans, cover with water, turn heat on to high and cover. When lids start dancing and rattling turn heat down to medium. 10 minutes before serving add ¼ cup of salt to each pan of vegetables, which should be uniformly smooth and grayish yellow.

Remove beef to a platter and slice using a hacksaw into wafer thin slices resembling roofing tiles. Serve with English mustard, which has no flavor at all merely heat to mask the flavor of the beef.

If you wish to serve an English dessert 8 hours before serving take equal parts sugar, suet or lard and sugar,add two times as much plain flour mix together with a couple of raisins, form into a ball, wrap in an old dish towel and place in a pan of boiling water, cover and boil over high heat for 4-6 hours, remove and hang out side for 2 hours to dry. Doesn’t that sound yummy? Don’t you just want to run down to the grocery store and buy a vat of suet so you can recreate this timeless English classic? No? Really?

Remember folks just because something is a classic, does not mean that it is automatically good. Have you ever read Chekov? ‘Nuff said.

Back to the possibly Bahamian Banana Cocktail (Which may also be from Fiji, I know different part of the world.).

Ingredients:
Four Bananas
1 6 oz can of tomato sauce
1 Tablespoon of lemon juice
1 teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce (Omit for Vegetarian)
4 Tablespoons of finely minced celery
Celery leaves to garnish

Method:

Peel the bananas (Did I have to say that? ) and toss with the lemon juice, add the tomato sauce and the Worcestershire sauce and toss lightly to coat. Distribute amongst four martini glasses and top with the celery and celery leaves. Serves, well, duh four.

Strangely it is a good combination, I was shocked.