Armenian Dolma

My piano teacher in Syria was actually Armenian; he always said I had talent, but little focus, true... Eventually he gave in and let me study baroque music rather than the late romantic period music he was so fond of. We went to his flat for dinner several times. It was in a Russian built concrete tower with and elevator with no door. I don’t mean an elevator that had a gate, or a cage, I mean there was no door at all. Well that is a lie, there was a door on each floor, but inside the elevator there was no cage or gate that kept you away from the wall. Scared the poo out of me, and he was ten floors up and the power went out constantly in Damascus, I just knew we were going to get stuck in that elevator. (I didn’t I had to wait until I had moved to America to get stuck in elevators; twice at Macy’s in Manhattan, and innumerable times at Meier and Frank in downtown Portland Oregon (The elevators were old at M&F and I worked there for three years taking the decrepit elevators about eight times a day (I smoked a lot), so understandable).
Mr. Moongian’s flat was rather small, but like a gilded little box. Gold damask wallpaper covered nearly every surface, and locally produced brass chandeliers hung with plastic crystal strands, seemed to be everywhere. Even the coffee table was fake gilded wood carved in exuberant scrolls by some demented cabinet maker. To say that it was in bad taste would be insulting, as many of the homes we visited during our tour of duty were overly elaborate. Kitschy brothel, would be the style, big porcelain dogs, heavy drapes with gold bullion fringe and mirrors in (You guessed it) gilded frames. Everytime we went to this little jewel box the dining table would be groaning with food, with more still in the kitchen, I could not state my favorite, there were salads and pilafs, boerag (Cheesy layered baked dough) and baklava, stewed vegetables and meatballs, fresh yogurt and Dolma.
Today we will visit Dolma.

Dolma can really be any vegetable that is stuffed with a mixture of meat and rice or bulgar wheat or with minced vegetables and rice or bulgar. My favorite for presentation purposes is a mixed dolma; where you have stuffed red, green and yellow peppers, stuffed zucchini, stuffed tomatoes and stuffed eggplant, you can also stuff acorn squash or parboiled onions.

This recipe is for the meat and the vegetarian version, I have also added wine or beverage ideas, as it has been brought to my attention that I was neglecting this (Sorry, these days I am washing down my food with Blue Raspberry Kool-Aid, so I forget, that is why comments mean so much to Get Stuffed!)

Ingredients are for six mashmallowy peeps there should be two dolma per person unless you use eggplant then there should be just one. (Just one per person not just one gigantic massive dolma that over powers the populace and forces them to vote Green Party).

First note: The egg is not traditional, this is usually made from raw ingredients stuffed into the vegetable shells, I have found though that working with the meat it does not always get cooked through, and working with the vegetables it just fell apart, same when I used cooked meat and mixed it with the rice. At the first cut there was rice and bits of vegetable all over the plate. The addition of the egg is therefore optional, however it created a much more contained product that when you stuck your fork in it did not fly across the room and lodge itself behind the sideboard, which after one has made sure that they have not seen your piece of airborne dolma, begins to smell like an un-emptied port-a-potty after a couple of days. Unless you are vegan, I recommend the egg.

Ingredients:
6 Small Bell Peppers or 6 medium tomatoes or 6 meaty looking zucchini or 6 crook necked squash or 3 small eggplants (Or a combination)
1 ½ Pounds of Ground Lamb or Beef (For vegetation substitute 1 pound of mushrooms finely chopped)
3 Tablespoons of Olive Oil
2 Medium onions finely chopped
1 Teaspoon of Cinnamon
1 Teaspoon of Dill
¼ Cup of Parsley Minced
1 ½ Cups of Cooked Rice or Bulgar Wheat
A little salt and black pepper to taste
1 Egg lightly beaten
1-2 Cups stock or water or 2 cups of tomato juice

Method:
Cut peppers in half lengthwise, remove stems, seeds and membranes. Cut zucchini lengthwise remove stem end and scoop out, reserve flesh, do same with squash. Cut tomatoes in half lengthwise and remove pulp, reserve pulp. Cut eggplants in half lengthwise and scoop out, reserve flesh and salt both flesh and shells, place in colander over a bowl to drain for thirty minutes or more, then rinse and set shells aside from flesh.

Once vegetables are prepared heat olive oil in a large skillet, add onion and cook till glossy and transparent. Then add the mushrooms or the beef/lamb sauté until meat is browned 5-6 minutes or mushrooms are lightly browned 3-6 minutes. Add the reserved vegetable flesh (Except for peppers) cinemon and the dill cook one minute more till fragrant.

Remove from heat let cool until it is cold enough to handle with bear hands. (Bear hands? Is that like the fact that all Americans have the right to “Bear Arms”, that is to hang a pair of bear arms on their walls? Props to Seth MacFarlane for that one) Transfer the cooked mixture to a bowl and mix with the cooked rice or bulgar wheat till well combined (Try not to squish the rice because it will get goopy, and mucket .) Taste for seasoning, add salt and pepper, if needed add more dill or cinnamon, REMEMBER TASTE BEFORE ADDING THE RAW EGGS, if you come down with Ebola or Smallpox because you ate the raw mixture, it’s not my fault, I warned you.

Mix in the eggs, and stir till combined. With wet hands take portions of the mixture and stuff it into the vegetable shells of your choice. Try to round off the tops so that it appears mounded and the top edge of the shell is covered with mixture. Place into a large casserole pour in the stock/water or tomato juice and cover place in oven and bake for 30 minutes at 375 degrees, then uncover and cook for a further 10-15 minutes until lightly browned on top. Remove from oven and let sit for 5 minutes. If you have used tomato juice remove the dolma to a platter and strain the juice into a bowl or saucepan, add a touch of dill, salt and pepper and pour over dolma just before serving.
As this is a main course dish with the carbs built in, a side salad of cucumbers with yogurt and mint, a mixed side salad with olives, or a stewed vegetable like okra with tomatoes, peas and sliced carrots, or even a dairy free coleslaw of carrots and cabbage with a dressing of vinegar and olive oil.

For a dessert I would recommend a store-bought baklava, because I hate making baklava, it is so bitty, and temperamental.

For a wine I would recommend a bold domestic red if you use the lamb or beef, if you use the vegetarian version I would choose a lighter fluffier red; a mild Cote du Rhone or a white Rhine wine, something with a little fizz in the palate. Good wine does not have to be expensive, but it does not come in a box. Damn I think I left the tap on my box open…

*Note this recipe eaisliy doubles or triples, and if you buy smaller vegetables you can actually serve them as a buffet item, they are individual and with a selection of other treats from Armenia or the Near East you could have a swell party (Did I just say “Swell” oy, kill me now, I have become my Grandmother…” ).