Pineapple Stir-fry

Hey! I'm back! After a weeks hiatus due to an incredibly busy week including a conference and some not so happy family drama.

This is not traditional at all, or at least I don’t think it s. If it is then whoops, my bad. This is the sort of dish one usually finds in Chinese American Restaurants where most people seem to order by number.

On such place not too far from my home is rather typical of the places this dish has popped up. The type in a strip mall with venetian blinds, a bunch of plastic roses, décor that would have been tacky when it was last redecorated in the Imelda Marcos on a budget style of the 1980’s. A radio station playing in the background, and the sort of oily half food half soap smell that just lingers in the air and coats everything it touches with a thin layer of second hand grease.

You have to picture the patrons as well to get a clear picture, men trying to cover up their bald patches with trucker caps (Uh hello? It’s not working, it’s mesh at the back..), big women with even bigger hair aqua netted into a protective helmet of mythical proportions. I have it! Eureka! Instead of sending our troops into battle with inferior body armor just send them a few cans of aqua net! I am certain it would work. Spray on Armor! We could make a fortune, just you and me right, just our little secret…If only Billy Mays (G@d rest his coke ridden soul) was still alive this would be the pitch for him. I can see it now: “BILLY MAYS HERE! YOU”VE HEARD OF SPRAY ON TAN, YOU’VE EVEN HEARD OF SPRAY ON HAIR, BUT NOW SOMETHING NEW!!! SPRAY ON ARMOR!!! JUST SPRAY IT ON!!! WE SPRAYED THIS 2010 FORD EXPLODER WITH SPRAY ON ARMOR NOW WATCH AS I PEPPER THE CAR WITH BULLETS FROM THIS 1980’s RUSSIAN KALASHNIKOFF, SEE HOW THE BULLETS JUST BEAD OFF THE FINISH THERE> SPRAY ON ARMOR<>

Hmmm, was that in bad taste? I think it may have been, but life is in bad taste. Have you ever witnessed a live birth? Yuck! What about trees? Who decided green was such a good color? And the night sky with all those twinkling sequin like stars and things? It’s like a blackboard had an affair with a disco ball and this is the monstrous issue of their union.

Then again I like the night sky, it is like the blanket you pulled over your head as a child, comforting and dark, the stars the light streaming through the holes in the weave.

Well anyway, this is a little like the recipe from the Chinese American place down the street from me, except it is bursting with happy flavor and lacks the wet dog hair consistency of the original. They do have grilled cheese sandwiches and spaghetti if you are totally opposed to Asian “inspired food”.

Ingredients:
One pound block of tofu cubed or Four large boneless skinless chicken breasts cut into thin strips
One green pepper cut into one inch squares
One red Pepper cut into one inch squares
4 Green onions chopped I can of pineapple chunks drained 1/3 cup of juice saved
½ cup of vegetable or chicken stock
2 Teaspoons of soy sauce
1 Tablespoon of cornstarch
2 Tablespoons of peanut oil
One or two dried chilies crumbled (Optional)
Cooked Rice to serve.


How you do this?

In a wok or large skillet heat the peanut oil and cook the tofu or chicken for about two to three minutes till lightly browned, add the green and red peppers and chilies if using stir fry for two minutes. Mix together the pineapple juice, chicken stock soy sauce and corn starch, add to the stir fry and cook for three more minutes until thickened. Sprinkle with the green onions.

Serve immediately with steamed or fried rice.

If you want to make a hearty banquet style meal out of this serve with Hot and Sour (See Get Stuffed! July 19, 2009) and Egg Foo Young (See Get Stuffed! June 9, 2009)


For a wine, I would suggest a Riesling, but that's just me.


Serves 4-6