Glazed Roast Pork

A Synopsis of Lord of the Flies and a Glazed Pork Recipe, scroll down for recipe. 

Do you know what attracted flies? Poop, lots of poop. 

Well they are in luck because well the Lord of the Flies is full of it. At fewer than 300 pages it really qualifies for the old adage: ten pounds of poop in a five pound bag. Though this is not as bad a “Seven Habits of Highly Successful People” which I actually threw off a bridge in a desperate attempt to try and save anyone from having to read about how to Synergize their Proactive Synergy in their Sphere of Synergy, Synergistically. 

As the Book opens World War III has arrived, and instead of just packing kids off to the country side a la “Bedknobs and broomsticks” they have stuck the little sods on an airplane bound for Whogivesarats. Actually they never tell you where it was going. Not that I really care, I had written three essays and or reports on this book before I actually read it. Thank you Cliff Notes! I only read it recently because it was there, sitting on a shelf in my soon to be disappearing study next to Martin Chuzzlewit, mocking me. So I read the b!t@#.

The Gist: We have a bunch of boys marooned on an island. We have Ralph, Piggy, Jack, Sam n’ Eric, and Simon, (Alvin and Theodore don’t make an appearance). Some of the boys side with Ralph, because he seems level headed, and some sign with Jack because he is the head of a small choir group and has the outward signs of a sadistic maniac. YAY.

We end up with one group that is all sissified and English and then another group that once smeared with war paint that is intent on murdering everything on the island and converting it into food. 

Somehow they unite under a single elected leader, Ralph, and progress can begin. The boys get down to the business of creating a mind crushing and spirit ravishing bureaucracy. Ralph, though he is sensible, has all the personality of a slightly decayed haddock, yet manages to organize a shelter building project. Hey if Rudy Giuliani could do it, anyone can right? 

They also build a signal fire that is to be kept going at all times. However, the boys don’t seem to have the motivation to keep it going. 

Jack (Stalin) creates his own clique that will rule the universe through their superior hunting skills, though they haven’t caught anything yet, and the rest of the boys stop working because there is no real supervision. (Just like the DMV). There also seems to be some monster called the “Beast” lurking on the Island. Really? On an island full of School Boys? Probably a catholic priest (that line was much less political when I wrote it...). 

Eventually society breaks down, all the boys end up on the side of Jack. Ralph becomes a fugitive and Simon goes completely fruit loops when he discovers a pig’s head on a stick that Jack’s boys have set up as a rather messy offering to the “Beast”. The pig’s head in turn starts talking to Simon (See? Totally gaga crispies) and going on about the beast inside all of us and a lot of claptrap that appears to relate to the base elements of the human conscience, and mankind’s capacity for violence and chocolate cake. Simon, still tripping on salvia or whatever he has been smoking runs over to Jacks camp to tell them that he knows that the beast is not real, and they slaughter him thinking that he is the beast while chanting, “Kill the beast! Slit his throat! Spill his Blood!” (That was the general theme of my cousins wedding. It didn't end well, but that's New Jersey for you..).

Ralph gets all depressed, Piggy gets knocked off a cliff with a boulder (So long you four eyed git!), and general mayhem ensues. Culminating in the rather amusing torture of Sam n’ Eric (did I mention that they were twins? Possibly not, because I didn’t care, well anyway they are twins) and the Hunt for Red October, I mean the hunt to find Ralph and kill him continues. Jack, by now ranting, frothing at the mouth and very much resembling a prepubescent Billy Graham sets fire to the forest to smoke out Ralph. Instead of finding Ralph, some passing warship sees the flames and sends over a landing party. Who it is implied will rescue the boys and take them back to civilization where they can put their new found skills into telemarketing and internet journalism. 

The whole putrid mass of this work is then summed up right there. The loss of innocence (Which is always touted as a reoccurring theme in most 19th and 20th century novels) along with the discovery that at the root of mankind’s soul is a boiling well of titillating creepy evil darkness, that bubbles away waiting for its moment in the sun.   Bugger that.  I made some pork, and I had the damn window open, and well as anyone knows who lives next to stagnant water (the wonders of Milwaukie) an open window means flies and other flying instruments of death. 

This was served with green potatoes and coleslaw

Ingredients for 4-6 peeps:

For the porky bit:

One boneless pork roast 3-5 pounds

A little olive oil

Salt and Pepper

For the Glaze:

 

½ Cup of red or black currant jelly

½ Teaspoon of powdered ginger

For the peach salsa:

1 ½ cups fresh or frozen peach slices, cubed

3 Green onions chopped, the white part and just a little of the green

½ Red bell pepper chopped fine

¼ Teaspoon powdered ginger

1 Teaspoon of lemon or lime juice

2 Tablespoons chopped cilantro

Rub the pork with the olive oil and sprinkle with a little salt and pepper. Place in a baking pan or casserole and bake at 350 degrees for about 20-30 minutes a pound, or until a meat thermometer reads 160 degrees when inserted into the center of the roast. 45 minutes before your estimated done time, mix the jelly with the ginger and brush generously over the pork. Continue cooking and brush with glaze intermittently until all the glaze is used up. 

To make the salsa combine all the ingredients and chill for an hour for the flavor to develop, remove from fridge about 15 minutes before serving so that it reaches the perfect taste temperature (If it is too cold you won’t really taste much but cold, brrrr.).