Green Stir Fry Recipe

Well, just as I thought I was going to be able to get everything back up and running my camera has decided it does not want to stay on. Very irritating. Worse, I found out it is a common problem for the type of camera that I have and the company will not cover it under warranty. Ok, fine. Just don’t ever expect me to buy another Kodak anything, you scurvy sods! I hope that everyone at Kodak gets eyelid pimples! Bwaahahahaha!
Anyhoo, in the meantime I am going to post a few things that I have completed in advance and a couple of things that people may have seen in the old and short lived Get Stuffed! Newsletter that predated this blog. Slightly updated for your viewing pleasure or something.

Today we start off with a Green Stir Fry, lots of fresh green veggies, ginger and your choice of chicken, tofu, pork or shrimp. Do I sound like the menu at a Chinese-American Strip Mall Restaurant? If not, I am sorry.

Think Green Green Stir Fry! Everyone is thinking green these days. From reusable grocery bags to windmills on the top of the ZDF tower. Though as one little frog once told us many years ago it’s not that easy being green. Luckily I live in a place where recycling is encouraged if not forced down your throat like a pear down the throat of a French goose destined to become fois gras. Though it can be a bit smelly, just because you call it soil enriching does not take away the fact that it is poo, and you have your hands in it so now you have poo hands, and no one wants to shake hands with Mr. poo hands…I tend to wash my hands too much, sometimes I wash my hands because I have thought about something icky. In fact I washed my hands just now thinking about poo hands and compost. Ahh compost; returning to the earth that which hath come forth from the earth.
There is something very real about compost, something very real indeed. In fact there are few things that are realer. Except maybe horse cr@p, feeling existential? Go muck out the horses. That will cure you in a hurry. Horses cr@p about fifty pounds a day on a healthy diet. So grab a shovel youre going to be here a while. Scoop and dump, scoop and dump, wheel the barrow, dump the barrow, scoop and dump, scoop and dump, wheel the barrow….once however you have finished mucking out the horses you have a warm fuzzy feeling, and a very good realization that though your olfactory system has completely shut down your sinuses are very very open.

Perhaps this was not the best topic, I think we should just move on to the recipes, its been a long day and I think I just saw Punky Brewster crawling on the ceiling. Well stay green use reusable containers instead of sandwich bags, use reusable grocery bags, and buy local and or in season. Fruits and vegetables that are in season and local spend less time in transportation saving fuel and roads, and rubber for tires! We need that rubber for hot water bottles and chew tows in the shape of Osama Bin Laden (I’ve seen them they are soooo cute, he has a little rubber beard and when you squeeze him he goes “Squeeeeeeak”). Oh I am turning into such a hippie…might as well stop bathing and by a set of bongo drums.

Ingredients:

1 Block of tofu cut into one inch cubes, 1 Pound of cubed chicken or pork
1 bunch of green onions
12-16 Stalks of asparagus cut into 1 ½ inch pieces
3-4 Stalks of celery cut on the bias into 2 inch long pieces
1 Cup of cut green beans
1 Pound of China peas
Green chilies (optional)
2 Cloves of garlic sliced
One inch piece of ginger chopped fine
3 tablespoons of peanut oil
2 Tablespoons of soy sauce
3 Tablespoons of vegetables stock, water or sherry
1 teaspoon of cornstarch

Method:

Heat the oil in a wok over fairly high heat and add the chilies if using cook for two minutes till browned remove from wok. Add the garlic and the ginger and stir fry 1 minute till fragrant. Add half the green onions, the celery, green beans and the pea pods, cook two minutes. Add the asparagus, after one minute add the soy sauce vegetable stock and the cornstarch all mixed together. Cook until liquid thickens. Toss briefly with the reserved chilies if using, and garnish with the remaining chopped green onion. Serve with rice.