Waldorf Salad Recipe

Is there anywhere (other than the plaza and the Ritz of course) that conjures up visions of elegance and sophistication more than the Waldorf Astoria? Possibly, Circus-Circus. Though not everyone agrees with me on that point, they can go get knotted round the biggest tree they can find.

The Waldorf salad has been attributed to Oscar of the Waldorf since the 30’s at least, along with eggs Benedict though I am not sure I believe that one. The Waldorf salad also features in one of my favorite episodes of Faulty Towers, where an American tourist is yelling at Basil to make him a Waldorf salad. The salad is not on the menu but because the American wants one he assumes he should be able to get one. In the end he gets a drink spilled on him and something goes horribly wrong, as usual.

If there is one constant in life it is that something will go horribly wrong.

It’s a beautiful summer day? Oh, you’ve got heat stroke. Perfect day for a picnic? You’ll forget the forks and end up eating macaroni salad with your fingers. You know all the answers to the test? Guess what, you’ve got explosive diarrhea. Tastiest meal you’ve had in ages? Oops, looks like you’ve got e-coli. You have the perfect wedding planned? Guess what? Your honeymoon destination has been wiped of the planet by Hurricane Gertrude, the limo driver is lost in Hoboken, the caterers have ordered three hundred servings of Kitten Cordon Bleu instead of chicken, the cake has been eaten by radioactive rats, the priest has puked on the flower girl, Andy Dick has crashed the ceremony, your dress is two sizes too small because you are bloated like a corpse on the Ganges from drinking way too much at your bachelorette party, the groom has run off with the best man who is actually your long lost twin brother that you didn’t know about because your mother permanently went out to buy a pack of smokes 20 years ago and your father dumped him in the care of some traveling street mimes, you find out your step-mother is actually a blind Albanian stripper from Vegas who is having an affair with a busboy named Ricky who has just discovered that she is married and is currently hiding behind the ice sculpture armed with a brick in a sock, and everyone has rabies, because rabies is cool.

I was in that wedding.

Well almost, at least in this one the bride didn’t give birth in the vestry after the ceremony, that’s class that is.

Waldorf salad is easy for a crowd though it keeps well and has four basic ingredients, 4 parts apples, 4 parts celery, 1 part chopped walnuts, 1 part mayonnaise. It is also a great way for using up any apples that are just about to go to the dark side.

Here is my version, pretty much the classic version with one or two little differences.

Ingredients:

1 Cup of chopped Golden Delicious apples

1 Cup of Chopped Celery

¼ cup of mayonnaise

¼ cup of chopped walnuts

A tablespoon of lemon juice

1 teaspoon of celery seed

A couple of drops of Tabasco sauce (Just a couple don’t go craxy here, the X is for X-Treme!)

How you do this? I tell you now:

Mix all together chill for 20 minutes and serve on greens or in tomato qua-trefoil flowers, in tomato cups, or scooped out with an ice cream scoop and into martini glasses or sorbet cups with a celery swizzle stick. Or you could do it the way i did with a drizzling of balsamic vinegar glaze because I am a total swot.

Serves 4