Carrot Raisin Salad Recipe

This has been an odd journey, I really like raisins I really like carrots, however I seem to hate every carrot raisin salad out there. Many of them are mixed with mayonnaise, marshmallows, pineapple or something evil that just makes it not right. Marshmallows? Come on people it’s a freaking salad! You really think that adding marshmallows to raisins and carrots is the right thing to do? I bet you put marshmallows on your candied yams or sweet potatoes too? Ew! Gross! Yucky! I am sorry but carrots and marshmallows are a combination that should be outlawed. Like Donny and Marie, thank the G@ds that over. Marshmallows? Do not eat Marshmallows. They are pure evil rolled in cornstarch. Yup that is what that powdery coating is that stops them from sticking together, and do you know what type of machine makes Marshmallows? It’s called and extruder, gross!

Back to my happy place where there are carrot and raisin salads that do not have marshmallows, senators are honest, matinee movies still cost a nickel and everyone and everything lives and peace and harmony…. Wait, What? Hold the phone there bucko, I don’t remember signing up for no peace and harmony, you can bally well shove that where the sun don’t shine. Where the sun don’t shine? Is that even proper English? Where exactly is this place? I’ve often wondered if it is near Seattle. Could be, or possibly Longview. Uuuugh Longview is frightening, I had to scrub myself with a wire brush when I got home from my first trip to Longview.

Besides, if everyone and everything lived in peace and harmony, what would replace COPS on Saturday nights? I shudder to think. What would happen to the Jerry Springer Show? Where would all the “I slept with my step daddy” yokels go? Remember if someone ain’t throwing a chair it ain’t entertainment.

I digress as is my wont, back to the salad: I was at a salad bar at a non chain restaurant in the Midwest and there it was a carrot salad that did not look wrong, that did not look incredibly disgusting a carrot salad that did not say go ahead eat me, I’ll just come back up your throat and punch you in the thing that hangs in the back of your throat.

It looked edible. It was and it was delicious.

Here is how I recreated it for ships and pickles:

Ingredients:

4 Cups of shredded carrots

½ cup of raisins.

1 Teaspoon of brown sugar

3 Tablespoons of cider vinegar

Method:

Mix all the ingredients and chill for 20 minutes. Yup that’s all, you can serve on lettuce leaves or add a sprig of parsley, it is all up to you my friend. Just stay away from the marshmallows or I will cut you! Ok, maybe not.