Zucchini Pancakes with Tzatziki Sauce

I love downtown being constantly exposed to people relieving themselves in the decorative fountains, sleeping in the bus shelters, and even shooting up in the food court. Great fun!

The Pathetique: This type of Spanger usually stands in the middle of the side walk to ask those that are passing “Could you spare any change?” they usually turn to each person as the pass in the opposite direction and give them the full lost puppy soulful eyes and sad expression, this makes people just want to move faster by the Spanger. This visual has been used as the basis of far too many music videos over the past two decades, give it a rest, its not cute. These are easily shaken off by a simple shake of the head or by claiming that the CIA has implanted a radio in your teeth.

Happy Feet: If I have a favorite Spanger this would probably be it. These Spangers have no set stance. They can be sitting on the sidewalk, on a perch, or standing with either back to the wall or to the street. The difference is in the attitude. Generally happy feet are animated, with lots of body movements. Clapping the hands or snapping the fingers, making sweeping movements with one or both arms, even holding an upturned hat as this broad swift movement is performed, jogging backwards, pointing, waving and generally being jovial are all signatures of this style. Smiling will often accompany phrases like “Hey they Big Guy, can you spare a little change?” To which you should respond: “BURN! REPENT! BE GONE FOUL DEGENERATE SHADE! LEST THEE BE SMOTED TERRIBLY SO SCAVENGER BIRDS MAY GROW FAT GORGING UPON YOUR BLOATED LOATHSOME CARCASS! (Smoted? Oh well.)

The Helper: This is the type of spanger that tries to work off of the principle that if they do something for you. You in turn will feel obligated to do something for them. The most common thing would be to stand near a door to a store, generally a drug store or a small shopping center, as you approach they play the door person to the establishment in question. This in turn make one feel guilty. There is no known technique for shaking off a helper short of actually skipping the store and coming back later. Plus unless the store has two entrances, they hit you up both coming and going. Much like tax officials they are ba$tards.

Wee that concludes my guide to the most common types of Spangers that I have encountered in this verdant emerald city.

Until the next time I encounter someone with their pants around their ankles on a public street shouting “My fish pants will hot dog in the Tardis buckets! Fish pants!!”

Well here is a recipe that has nothing to do with fish pants. Zucchini patties with zesty Tzaziki sauce. (Just trying to see how many z’s I could fit into the title).

Ingredients:

2 Medium Zuchinini Grated

1 Egg lightly beaten

1 Onion Minced

3 tablespoons of minced parsley

4 oz of feta cheese

2-3 Cloves of garlic

1 Tablespoon of fresh rosemary

1 Tablespoon Corn Flour or Potato Flour

¼ Teaspoon of black pepper

Method:

Mix all together and chill for ten minutes. Heat a non stick skillet and drop rounded tablespoons of the mixture into it. They will spread a little, cook for about 2-3 minutes a side till nicely brown. Serve warm or cold with Tzatziki sauce. Serves four peeps as an appetizer. Or add rice pilaf and a vegetable or two for a main course item.

Tzatziki Sauce:

1 Cucumber grated

½ Cup of yogurt

2-3 Cloves of garlic chopped fine

1 teaspoon of lemon juice

Mix all and chill for 20 minutes.

A white wine would be best with these, a Chardonnay is exceptional.