Poutine (Poo-teen)

Ok, so it sounds nasty, and well maybe it is. I can just imagine guys standing around some redneck bar saying: “I want to find myself some Poo-teen..” These are people that should be put down, like an old overly flatulent dog that resembles a roll of mildew ridden shag pile carpet. The difference being, people actually care about elderly flatulent dogs. Except my mother, who had her dogs put down because they were annoying and didn’t match the new furniture.

Poutine is the ultimate junk food, French fries, gravy and cheese curds all mixed up in a bucket (Usually of polystyrene.) sold on the street from Poutine stands or from takeout diners, and usually in eastern Canada (Though there is a Poutine Stand on 12^th and Hawthorne in Portland, Oregon). Poutine is a great gross glorious mass of goopy greasy gobbltey goodness.

Ok, how you do this? I tell you now:

Ingredients for four Poutine Eaters:

1 Pound of French Fries, cooked according to the package directions (Or make you own, I really don’t care)

1 Package of Chicken/Brown (What the He!! Is brown gravy, just brown flavor? Brown flavor? Hmmm) or vegetarian mushroom gravy

2 Teaspoons of red or white wine vinegar

¼ Teaspoon of black pepper

½ Pound of cheese curds (NOT COTTAGE CHEESE) or ½ Pound of fresh mozzarella cubed

Method:

Heat the gravy while the fries are cooking; add the vinegar and the pepper, keep warm. When fries are done toss a quarter of the mixture into four bowls. Sprinkle with the cheese and top with the hot gravy. Serve with a fork and sit back and enjoy your arteries hardening.