Bulgaria! Cucumbers! Nuts!

Today Get Stuffed! Totally goes to Bulgaria, well not really, just my imagination.

I have always wanted to go to Bulgaria, in the clutches of the Cold War all of Eastern Europe it seemed like fascinating and mystical place. I was fascinated with them all, Romania, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia but not Albania, never Albania.

The history of the small warring states of the middle ages Eastern Europe is gory, bloodcurdling and absolutely the cats pajamas to any young boy. Especially all the tales of beheadings, impalements and mad queens getting bricked up in lonely castles (I’ve known a few mad queens in my time, in fact I have even been called one!).

These are stories rife with vainglorious kings and petty princes fighting for supremacy on blood soaked fields. Each one, in turn slaughtering thousands of dirty peasants and farm animals in an effort to rule over this dark and mysterious land roughly the same size as Virginia. A land of hob goblins and werewolves, of witches and the evil eye, and of course the mother of them all…Vampires!.....”Whooooooo”…oh wait, uh it’s ghosts that go “Whoooooo” …right…vampires go “Sluuuuurp”. I always imagined that if a vampire bit you after a while it would make the sound like someone trying to get the last bit of milkshake out of the bottom of a paper cup…which is more of a “sluurpo wobble burble bubble schwiiiiiiiii bubble blurpy flappy wiggleparp...”. Well that’s at least how I picture it.

You may picture it differently or not at all. There are so many pictures and there are so many questions such as: Why burps are purple? Why can I not divide by applesauce and multiply by Thursday? Why don’t muffins make good rain hats? What is the secret behind the popularity of Banana Montana and who has been fiddling with my medication?

I have to say that I was more afraid of vampires than any other mythical creature. Mostly because they could fly, and I was up on the third floor, I just knew they could get in! Werewolves don’t scale drain pipes, and well though witches had broomsticks and could fly, witches didn’t bother me. Too many Wicca Practitioners in Scotland for anyone to be afraid of a witch. Which reminds me, was Glenda really a good witch or was she just some old tarted up fairy? She always reminded me of my Auntie John, especially the wand.

Soooo, salad, well here is a recipe for a Bulgarian Cucumber Walnut and yogurt Salad, if you double the dairy products and add two cups of vegetable stock you end up with the Bulgarian soup Tarator.

2 Cucumbers diced

¼ Cup of sour cream

¼ Cup of plain yogurt

1-2 Cloves of garlic

1/4 Teaspoon of dill

4 Tablespoons of chopped black walnuts

Pinch of black pepper

Yup that’s it, mix all the first five ingredients well sprinkle with the walnuts and serve, this is best made right before serving. It does keep but it gets all thin and slurpy like liquid cat, and that is not happiness.