Hiding Behind the Chicken?

And there is was hiding behind the chicken…

..well then I thought how do I get the straps off?

These are the snippets of conversations that we sometimes overhear, unlike in the movie where they actually tell you where the body is hidden at the end in some strange twist wherein the butler had nothing to do with it, but the victims sister is actually a KGB spy who lost her memory and is now disguised as a paper boy. These are just little bits and pieces of conversation at the shopping center or the supermarket. Now I just have to know: just what was hiding behind the chicken? Was it a rogue onion? Jimmy Hoffa? The Beetroot bandit? Lord Lucan?

And just what did that lady mean about the straps? Well it would seem obvious she was talking about her luggage or backpack right? Then again I could be dead wrong? Maybe she delivers refrigerators (As I once did for the Venerable Sears Roebuck Co. ) and she had to strap them to walls of the delivery truck but somehow had incapacitated her other hand by trying to hold up a faulty door on the back of the truck that was damaged when the warehouse manager accidentally drove the truck backwards down tenth avenue south during a snowstorm after a fight with his wife and one too many beers? Or perhaps she is an avid skydiver and at the last minute has become entangled in the banner she and her partner were going to unfurl over the city of Pittsburgh! Declaring it the most Pittsburghian place in the world tries to get herself untangled but has to release her pack? But then wouldn’t that mean getting out of the straps for the harness connecting the parachute Perhaps? Perhaps she had a spare? Or maybe she is a spy, cue the spy music! She was having trouble with the straps because she had disguised herself as a ventriloquist and had gate crashed a party at the Kremlin, but she has to get a weapon fast and trying to get the strap of a gun belt undone while still doing a hilarious routine in the manner of Charlie McCarthy And I mean knee slapping funny! So funny that the premier of the hostile Russian state chokes to death on his Kvaas and Kasha. Or could it be even that she is talking about her uncle who valiantly fought down the MaiDong delta and lost his arm fighting for Freedom, America and Mom’s apple pie? And since has trouble getting to fasten his bicycle helmet even though he has become the worlds oldest BMX stunt rider in competitions across the US and Canada? Maybe I have had too much coffeeeee…I can feel my Teeeth! Then again it could be all or none of these how Zen! OR maybe he lost his arm in a factory in New Jersey that makes hot dogs and shwoooop out came little bits of arm, which leads me in to this, on a hot day out side what sounds better than a cucumber? Cool as a cucumber they say. Maybe I will post a cucumber recipe soon, or maybe I will try to figure out how to get the straps off.